A little piece of my heart was broken today as I dropped Kaylee off for her first day of preschool. I have gone through so many emotions as we got ready for her to go that I wasn't sure how I would feel when the time actually came. When we first started talking about it, I was really nervous because it is four days a week for 3 hrs, which seems like a lot for the 1st year. Sometimes I would get excited thinking about all of the things I would get done while McKenna is napping. And other times I would be sad and swear I wasn't going to send her because I would miss her too much. But what I felt as I dropped her off was completely unexpected.
The whole morning Kaylee was SO excited she could hardly stand it. She had her backpack on most of the day and kept asking if it was time to go. Her excitement was contagious and we were both yelling "woo hoo!" when we pulled up to the school. Kaylee is very social and loves new things so I was happy to see she was excited about this too. However, the second we stepped into the school she got VERY quiet and even asked me to stay an extra minute, which she has NEVER done before. It was not easy at all for me to walk away and I could feel my heart getting heavier with each step. When I got in the car I was trying to figure out my feelings and decided that what I felt most of all was fear. Fear that nobody would take care of her as good as I do. That nobody would see her special little spirit and know how sweet she is. Fear that the other kids wouldn't say nice things or exclude her. And most of all, fear that I am going to be missing out on so much from now on. I won't get to see the things that make her happy at school or the things that make her nervous. I won't get to see how she makes new friends or what she chooses to play with at recess. And that breaks my heart! (oh dang it, now I really am crying). Kaylee has been my little buddy from day one and there wasn't anything I did without her. I am going to miss seeing her sweet face all day, every day. Can't I just keep her in a bubble for the rest of our lives??
I meant to just get one "first day of school shot" but she's so adorable, I couldn't pick just one!
3 comments:
She is adorable, but looks way too grown up for a 3 year old. I love her gorgeous smile in all of these pictures. I am glad you both survived the day!!
Love her robot backpack!
I too am now panicking at the idea of Gaius going to preschool. I hate the idea of missing out on his new adventures & experience and I have a hard time trusting strangers with the safety of the most precious thing in my life.
Oh back to school... Back to school... I still can't believe she will be gone that much! Hope she loves it!
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